Words are a big deal. We use them every day so we tend to become desensitized around their power. We all know the significance of four-letter words, but check out this little three-letter diddy that single-handedly changes the meaning of almost any sentence it resides in:
I love you, but…
What do you anticipate at the end of this sentence? I’ll bet it’s nothing good. In most cases, if you’ve got a ‘but’ in the middle of your sentence you may as well just remove whatever preceded it. It usually ends up being completely negated by your underlying meaning. What exactly do I mean by that? I’m glad (I pretended that) you asked!
No offense, but…
Translation: I want to say something negative about you, but I don’t want to get in trouble.
I agree with you, but I just can’t [verb] right now.
Translation: I’m not really sure if I agree with you about that.
I like you, but only as friends (Junior high throwback sentence)
Translation: I don’t like you like that
Why do we try to save face and sugar-coat when we’re clearly better off letting our ‘yes’ mean ‘yes’ and our ‘no’ mean ‘no’ (Matthew 5:37). When has the bait-and-switch ever been useful? The book of Proverbs tells us that “the mouth of the wicked conceals violence (Proverbs 10:11, NIV)”. More truthful communication leads to better communication, and better communication leads to better relationships.
If given the choice, would you rather hear a hard truth or a comfortable lie?
Try to keep an eye on your ‘but’ today. I would do it, too, but I’m just too busy.
